News Release: Jan. 19 2016
The Canadian Association for Zombie Rights in a move today abandoned their support for Prime Minister Justin Trudeau. The move comes as a surprise to the Trudeau camp who responded with “we didn’t see that one coming”. Speaking through an interpreter (because his jaw had fallen off) Marty Deschamps the spokesman for the zombie coalition cited that while it was fun to play with their food, they had come to realize that Trudeau in effect wasn’t food…he had no brains.
Meanwhile the spokesperson for the Liberal party of Canada was somewhat disappointed in the move “we were about to introduce programs at the tax payers expense that would integrate the zombie population and favor them above normal hard working living Canadians” he said. Continuing, he remarked that “we learned our lesson with the Syrian refugees, if Canadians are going to be screwed they’d rather be screwed by a government supporting dead Canadians than foreigners”.
The liberals now have to dismantle several programs including teaching zombies French so they could fill public service jobs among other things. Now that the zombie vote is gone, the liberals will again focus on refugees and pissing off Albertans and Canada in general.
Not all zombies are happy about the move either. Frye Berger who has been a zombie since the 60’s lamented “hey man, I wanted Justin in you know, he was gonna legalize pot and that would have been groovy and far out!” Apparently the liberals thought the notion of stoned zombies with a bad case of the munchies would affect popularity polls and quickly did an about face on all matters concerning the legalization of marijuana.